From this day forward I will no longer succumb to the pressures of the Christmas holiday. I no longer want to feel the need to purchase items for people who will most likely never use what I gave them. As if it means I do not like/care/love you enough if I don't get you the best possible gift. I do not want to go into crowded stores looking for those gifts that have been sold out for weeks. I hate Black Friday! Did you see someone was trampled in New York state? Someone died! Over a $200 piece of shit laptop! It has to stop! I am done! I'm out!
Bring on Festivus!!
Check out my Festivus pole. No more cutting down trees for me. This is much better. Durable....reusable....aluminum!
This is my renouncement of Christmas forever. I am celebrating Festivus for the foreseeable future. As we were growing up, we learned that Christmas was a time for caring and giving. A time for forgetting our worries and enjoying just being alive with friends and family. Every single Christmas movie plays up this theme. Yet no one ever does what we are told or what is seen in movies. Right now, somewhere in America, there are two parents wrestling over the newest must-have toy of the year. They are most likely yelling, calling each other names and being very non-Christmas like. All so little Billy or Sally can have the meaningless toy that will be broken the week after Christmas. There has to be a better way!
Festivus will fix all of this. The need to buy gifts for every single person you know will no longer be required. Instead you can choose who you want to buy gifts for, if any. No multiple gifts either. One is enough for anyone. If someone gives you something, you have absolutely no obligation to get them something in return.
Along with Festivus comes the "airing of grievances and the "feats of strength". I promise there will be both. The "airing of grievances" allows you to tell anyone what you really think of them, and they can't get mad at you. The "feats of strength" will challenge your physical and mental abilities along as dare you to step out of your shell. You will do things that you may have never dreamed possible.
Let's get this straight though, this is not about being cheap. It is about restoring the true meaning of the Holiday Season. Think back....when was the last Christmas that you didn't feel rushed and pressured to beat an imaginary clock to make your friends and family happy? For you there is
A Festivus for the Rest of Us!
a bunch of folks at the station had a Festivus party this weekend. Dammit, I couldn't go, or there'd be pictures.
ReplyDelete