This past weekend I had the best time of my life. I took part in an outrageous festival that is commonly known by most people in Outerspace as the Party of Bachelors'. Apparently before a male can take a spouse, he must first dispose of all his inner wantings and desires. And the best way to do this is to get together with a bunch of close mates, drink down large amounts of only the best meads, and prolong sleep as long as possible. Much like our annual Radish Juice Festival.
At first I thought that this combination could be fatal. It is not, but it is pretty close. Drinking large amounts of mead starts to blur the vision as well as your decision making ablity. It doesn't help that everyone else keeps daring you to drink more and more.
As we traveled around in a very large vehicle only to be described as a "HUMMER", one of the bachelors shouted, "Let's get some action!"
We then pulled up to a club opened only for the night-walkers. Inside it was dimly lit with loud music playing and barely clothed females dancing in circles.
Each of these females, I was told to be called "strip-pers", approached each of the partiers, including me. These alluring sirens of passion whispering sweet sounds, smelling sweet smells would take our hands to lead us in separate directions. Once alone with a strip-per, she would then perform an angelic dance causing a sensation to take hold of me. I was unable to move. Forced to watch this dance. I knew that shouldn't stay there, but my legs wouldn't allow me to move. Then the enchanted mood quickly changed.
In a blink of a eye my pockets were emptied and my valuable artifacts and maps were GONE! The female had disappered and I was sitting alone. I then realized why they were called "strip-pers", for they strip you of all your valuables.
Cousin, some life lessons are better learned by someone else.
Posted by Travelin' Miles