Training Day

Originally uploaded by Travelin' Miles.
Dear Cousin Gobo,

I learned that these Silly Creatures known as "Uhmans", don't take any chances out there in Outerspace. I once thought that the half-size ones were just a variation of the entire species. For they are quite intelligent to be younglings, but it turns out that they are indeed the offspring of the larger "Uhmans". Unlike our younglings, they are able to learn skills and abilities quicker that their adult counterparts. Which leads me to my point.

Today I witnessed some sort of training session for the half- size ones. They were being taught how to operate mechanical rock throwers. These rock throwers can sling tiny peebles faster than your eyes can blink. The rocks move so fast that whatever they hint will be severely damaged. I would not like to be on the other end of these rock throwers. The Half -size Uhmans were also watching large metal birds up in the clouds zipping this way and that way. My neck got a kink , cus I too was amazed by the speed of these strange things. Every once and a while one would fly down low to the ground and drop a egg that would explode on impact. That egg would cause a large amount of heat and smoke as it hit the ground. Amazing!

The Uhmans seamed to like this training session, for they would cheer and clap their hands together in approval. I asked one of them to tell me the reasoning behind this show. He said, " To prevail in the war against terror".

This is the first I've heard of "war". It was described to me as fierce fighting of two sides until there is only one winner by default. And I was very frightened, cus I only know one thing that terrorifies me......Gorgs.

It may be possble that the Gorgs are planning an encroachment into Outerspace. Fortunately, the hailf-size Uhmans are much smarter than the Gorgs.

Just watch yourself the next time you go to collect radishes.

Travelin' Miles


Come Fly with Me

Originally uploaded by Travelin' Miles.
Dear Cousin Gobo,

This morning I decided to look at Outerspace in a new perspective. Have you ever wondered what things looks like if you were floating above it all? Today I found out, I went flying.

It was early in the morning, way before the yellow Sun ever rises from the distant mountains. I jumped inside a machine known as "the Helo" which is made of a two person cabin, a large rotating blade on the top and a smaller blade attacted to its tail. As you know there are all types a interesting machines in Outerspace, this is just one of the few that can lift you right off the ground.

In the air everything looks much smaller, sorta like a Doozer village, only more spread out. It is also much easier to map out the area when you can see farther into the distance.

We were up in the air for about an hour or so, when it started raining. This isn't the first time I saw rain. Yes indeed, it is rare here. Most of the time the sun is blazing down making it hot. You remember rain, don't you? It is when water falls from the sky in large droplets, like in the radish garden. I also saw the strange phenomena known as a "rain-bow." You might also remember this from the radish garden. It was the bright colorful arc that appears overhead at times. It is said if you follow the rain-bow to it's end you will recieve a large cauldron of treasure. I once believed this myth, but today I saw the real truth. The rain-bow is nothing more than an illusion. The rain-bow I saw today was not in an arc, rather it was a complete circle.

Somehow the Sun can make the rain-bow appear when it rains, depending on your position you will only see at most times half an arc. If you are high enough above the ground, and at the the focal point of the Sun's rays, you can see the entire circle. It is much like a lens glares you see in your spyglass.

Until nextt time cousin,

Travelin' Miles


Party of Nine

Originally uploaded by Travelin' Miles.
Dear Cousin Gobo,

This past weekend I had the best time of my life. I took part in an outrageous festival that is commonly known by most people in Outerspace as the Party of Bachelors'. Apparently before a male can take a spouse, he must first dispose of all his inner wantings and desires. And the best way to do this is to get together with a bunch of close mates, drink down large amounts of only the best meads, and prolong sleep as long as possible. Much like our annual Radish Juice Festival.

At first I thought that this combination could be fatal. It is not, but it is pretty close. Drinking large amounts of mead starts to blur the vision as well as your decision making ablity. It doesn't help that everyone else keeps daring you to drink more and more.

As we traveled around in a very large vehicle only to be described as a "HUMMER", one of the bachelors shouted, "Let's get some action!"
We then pulled up to a club opened only for the night-walkers. Inside it was dimly lit with loud music playing and barely clothed females dancing in circles.

Each of these females, I was told to be called "strip-pers", approached each of the partiers, including me. These alluring sirens of passion whispering sweet sounds, smelling sweet smells would take our hands to lead us in separate directions. Once alone with a strip-per, she would then perform an angelic dance causing a sensation to take hold of me. I was unable to move. Forced to watch this dance. I knew that shouldn't stay there, but my legs wouldn't allow me to move. Then the enchanted mood quickly changed.

In a blink of a eye my pockets were emptied and my valuable artifacts and maps were GONE! The female had disappered and I was sitting alone. I then realized why they were called "strip-pers", for they strip you of all your valuables.

Cousin, some life lessons are better learned by someone else.


Return of The Miles

Originally uploaded by Travelin' Miles.
Dear Cousin Gobo,

From a galaxy far far away I've returned to this rock we call home. It has been a very long time since I've updated my travels. So many stories not enough time or relevance. Now I know you all were worried that I may have never be able to return, but believe me when I tell I you that I'm in deed back for good this time.

In these past months, I had to put my travelin' on hold because I needed to reevaluate my path in life. It also was because I was a victim of alien abduction.

Now I know there are you who are skeptics, but I will assure you that aliens are infact as real as Bigfoot, whom I met. Nice chap, his name is Jefe, always welcoming people in for a little chess and tea. As well as for his cousin Yeti, whom I don't care for to much. He's always yelling, and crying about his home having no heat. But back to the aliens that I was telling you about.

It happened last winter, I was walking through the mountains of the Northwest after a nice game of chess with Jefe when out of the sky appeared a large silver rhombus. It stop zoomed around the sky in zig zags as if the pilot was lost, then it came straight overhead and a spotlight splashed upon me. I was in bewilderment as a loud voice sounding much like Pee Wee Herman asked "Are you the Navigator?" I responded "No but I have a map", yo know my map the one that I've been mapping. Then the spotlight extinguished, I started to feel tingles throughout my body and in a blick of an eye I've left the ground and was now standing inside the silver rhombus.

Inside were three very tall green men with very large heads and skinny arms. They were all looking at me through very large and very magnified handheld monocles because they at poor eyesight. They all spoke at once in unison with the same "pee wee" voice. They wanted to know if I knew the way to UB313. I recognized the name right away, remembering it from an article I once read about the new possible planet in our solar system. I told them that needed to go about six more planets from the sun. They thanked me and then without notice the silver rhombus moved back an forth at great speeds, and then as if someone caught their bearings correct the rhombus bolted across the sky into space. We bolted pass asteriods, pass moons, pass comets which all I could see through small portholes in the side, until we came to a complete stop over a small ice ball. It must be UB313. Once again the three green men spoke to me, asking me to pull on the lever over my left shoulder. I complied, and as I pulled down on the lever I heard a loud crack as if a door opened. I looked out the porthole down at UB313 to see that they were DUMPING THEIR TRASH.

As I looked down at this thinking 'all this trouble for a trash run'? Then the green men asked me if I wanted them to take me back to our home. I thought quickly, and then asked if I could come along with them. The three looked at me for a few seconds and then said "Sure!"

Over the next few months, the four of us traveled across the universe looking for sites to pick up and dump off trash. Although these guys were not a great of a bunch to have discussions with, they could be pretty funny at times, and I learned some things from these men also. One, I learned that not all abductions can be bad experiences. Two, I also found out that aliens are bad drivers