Who Started This Madness?

Dear Cousin Gobo,

Valentine's Day is pointless. All day yesterday I saw every single female in my newsroom recieve surprises of some combination of flowers, balloons, and candy. How come?! Because it's Valentine's Day.

As the day went on, the bigger those surprises got. And as if to out trump eachother the females will put their gifts on display for all the see.

What makes this a holiday? If you are married, dating, or even just friends with benefits, you must get her some type of V-day present. Why? I heard responses before like, "To let me know he's thinking about me", "It shows you who really cares about you", "He just wanted to make me feel special and have a good day"

All these answers are just pre-programed replys handed down throughout the years by the creators of this senseless holiday. Probably women.

Every man who is in some type of relationship knows that this day is coming. He also knows that he HAS to get her something. There is no other option. It is not a surprise. It is expected! If a man doesn't come through for his female counterpart, then does that mean he is not thinking about her, or doesn't really care, or maybe he doesn't want to her to feel special.

You see when a surprise is expected to arrive then it isn't a surprise. Do you think the Trojans would have accepted giant wooden horse, if they expected it to be filled with Greek warriors?

What would be a better surprise is not to give her anything, and then later down the road, let's say in June, send the gift on any random day. But no man would ever dare do this. I know in my past relationships I wouldn't be brave enough. To forget to send a required Valentine's Day gift is the worst thing. There is no forgiving or making it up. There is no make up sex! No matter how hard you try, she will always remember that one year you screwed up. You could be backing out of your driveway and accidently runover, killing both her favorite poodle and her aging father. She will forgive sooner for that than if you forgot to send flowers to her work.

So why do all men comply with this required surprise? Because it makes it easier. Do you ever see a man recieve flowers at work for V-day? Probably not. He may get a small gift from his mate but most likely the man's gift comes much later. I could be in the form of anything. A night of silence from a nagging wife. His favorite dinner cooked for him. Poker night and drinking with the buddies. Begging-less sex.

You can't tell me that a single man out there will say to himself, "you know I want her to know I was just thinking about her today." It is more like, "Oh shit! What did I get her last year? Cus it has to better than that this year! Maybe if I get her something really good, she'll let me do that one thing I like. Maybe she'll let me do it twice! I better get something expensive! If I get her two things, that's double the payback! Now how am I going to get this delivered on time?"

Like rapid fire the mind of the man thinks the consequences that are wrapped around Valentine's Day