Dear Cousin Gobo,
From a galaxy far far away I've returned to this rock we call home. It has been a very long time since I've updated my travels. So many stories not enough time or relevance. Now I know you all were worried that I may have never be able to return, but believe me when I tell I you that I'm in deed back for good this time.
In these past months, I had to put my travelin' on hold because I needed to reevaluate my path in life. It also was because I was a victim of alien abduction.
Now I know there are you who are skeptics, but I will assure you that aliens are infact as real as Bigfoot, whom I met. Nice chap, his name is Jefe, always welcoming people in for a little chess and tea. As well as for his cousin Yeti, whom I don't care for to much. He's always yelling, and crying about his home having no heat. But back to the aliens that I was telling you about.
It happened last winter, I was walking through the mountains of the Northwest after a nice game of chess with Jefe when out of the sky appeared a large silver rhombus. It stop zoomed around the sky in zig zags as if the pilot was lost, then it came straight overhead and a spotlight splashed upon me. I was in bewilderment as a loud voice sounding much like Pee Wee Herman asked "Are you the Navigator?" I responded "No but I have a map", yo know my map the one that I've been mapping. Then the spotlight extinguished, I started to feel tingles throughout my body and in a blick of an eye I've left the ground and was now standing inside the silver rhombus.
Inside were three very tall green men with very large heads and skinny arms. They were all looking at me through very large and very magnified handheld monocles because they at poor eyesight. They all spoke at once in unison with the same "pee wee" voice. They wanted to know if I knew the way to UB313. I recognized the name right away, remembering it from an article I once read about the new possible planet in our solar system. I told them that needed to go about six more planets from the sun. They thanked me and then without notice the silver rhombus moved back an forth at great speeds, and then as if someone caught their bearings correct the rhombus bolted across the sky into space. We bolted pass asteriods, pass moons, pass comets which all I could see through small portholes in the side, until we came to a complete stop over a small ice ball. It must be UB313. Once again the three green men spoke to me, asking me to pull on the lever over my left shoulder. I complied, and as I pulled down on the lever I heard a loud crack as if a door opened. I looked out the porthole down at UB313 to see that they were DUMPING THEIR TRASH.
As I looked down at this thinking 'all this trouble for a trash run'? Then the green men asked me if I wanted them to take me back to our home. I thought quickly, and then asked if I could come along with them. The three looked at me for a few seconds and then said "Sure!"
Over the next few months, the four of us traveled across the universe looking for sites to pick up and dump off trash. Although these guys were not a great of a bunch to have discussions with, they could be pretty funny at times, and I learned some things from these men also. One, I learned that not all abductions can be bad experiences. Two, I also found out that aliens are bad drivers
